After writing last week’s piece about Finding Spiritual Discernment in the United States of America Today, I have received so much encouragement from reading your thoughtful comments and emails in response to it. It doesn’t necessarily “fix” anything that troubles us to know that others are troubled in similar ways. But it does inspire courage in me to continue on, to keep doing my own work, and to remember so many of you who are in your own spaces doing your work, too.
It would be easy to stay stuck under the weight of discouragement and defeat, believing that our small work makes little difference. But part of our good work is to keep asking and doing our next right thing today and then again tomorrow.
One theme I’ve been circling lately came up in my conversation with Jen Hatmaker this week. We talked on The Next Right Thing podcast about how the worst day of her life eventually led to a flourishing that she couldn’t have imagined. She received “the gift of devastation” and cautiously, carefully said she almost wished every woman around this age could receive a similar gift. I knew she didn’t mean to inflict harm or wish ill-will on anyone. But I understood her point, that there is a kind of freedom to be found on the other side of everything falling apart.
We talked about fear, about our relationship to it during our growing up years, and how it shows up today. She mentioned something her therapist said that began to make all the difference:
“There is how you feel, then there is your resistance to how you feel. The first is hard. The second is catastrophic. Your fear isn’t the problem, your resistance to it is.”1
Once a month here on Substack I ask a question designed to spark reflection, conversation, or a gentle nudge toward helping you explore your own interior landscape. One rule I’ve set: I will only ask questions that I’m willing to answer myself. So each post you’ll be able to read my answer before you leave yours.
I love when you share your answers in the comments, but of course you may just want to jot the question down in your own journal for personal reflection over time. As always, there’s no wrong.
Today’s question has me exploring themes around fear, hope, and avoidance. So far these questions have brought out some more vulnerable and less polished answers from me than what I typically write here which is interesting if not a little scary but here we go anyway.
Here’s our Quiet Question for September:
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