My daughter grew up hating cheese. About the time she graduated high school I remember standing in front of the pre-prepared food section at Costco, thinking delightedly, "In just a few months I'll be able to get that delicious looking Mac-n-Cheese to bring home for dinner." Then, out of nowhere, I just started to sob. Right there in Costco. I kept saying, "I don't want to be able to bring Mac-n-cheese home, I want my girl!" Grief in transition is a strange beast. Blessings on your journey to empty nesting.
"My comfort zone is a mile away, but when the fog clears, the view from here is mostly spectacular. Just don’t look down." Your capacity to turn a phrase, as they say, whoever "they" are, is what I find spectacular today. I know have words, "My comfort zone is a mile away." I love that so much, Emily. I've been a real-life empty nester for almost 10 + years now. I can hardly believe I'm writing that. My oldest, who just turned 39, lives in Belgium, and my twins, who are 35 years old, live in Missouri and Kansas. In the last three years, I've been given five grandbirds from them. We sold our family business after 36 years, my husband retired, and I retired from my one-on-one coaching and counseling private practice. Oh, did I mention that I am now on Medicare and will be collecting Social Security shortly? With all sincerity, I keep saying Dr. Seuss's words to myself, "How did it get so late so soon?" I feel I blinked and am suddenly the one people say this to, "You look so good for your age." NOOOOOOO! So thank you, once again, for always speaking straight to my soul. It helps. It really, really does.
Oh my, Emily, if I only felt like one, right? :) I should have said, "I now have words." Proof of my current state of "my comfort zone is a mile away." Please keep writing your heart and soul down on paper or right here on Substack for all of us, Emily. You are one guru I will not stop listening to. :)
Emily, I believe it was you who once told us that although we want to be experts right away, that it is okay to be an amateur. I have shared that with countless friends facing situations like you are, and have often reminded myself, too. Being a beginner is incredibly uncomfortable in our perfectionist, striving, convenience-and-comfort-seeking culture. But we are all beginning somewhere. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. ♥️😘
Thank you for your honesty Emily! As for me, I've been dipping my toes into what I believe is nervous system work and, it might be a stretch or complete heresy - I don't know, a verse came to mind: Proverbs 4:23 NIV "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." I've playing in my mind to exchange the word heart with nervous system and it seems it fits right with our current understanding of how complex our bodies are.
during a years-long season of trauma, upheaval, illness, fear, and grief, my body has quickly become my teacher.
as someone who always tended to look outward for help/direction/affirmation, learning to turn inward instead (and trusting god to meet me there) has been… slow. counterintuitive. awkward. MESSY. (so messy)
some days i would like to forget that class is still in session. some days i would like to throw the curriculum through a window.
the anxiety, the panic, the constant fight/flight/freeze/fawn- they are my least favorite teachers, but they have some of the deepest wisdom to offer.
learning to listen to, trust, and STAY WITH my body (in all her iterations) is some of the hardest work i’ve ever done.
it is also the most rewarding.
i see you over there, epf, and your words here resonate.
I sometimes feel like I am on a perpetual growth edge. I recently had my 80th birthday, a birthday my mother did not get to have. We are on the waiting list for a nearby retirement community - betwixt and between. Richard Rohr talks about liminal space, that place on the threshold, being the only place growth happens. In this country right now we are all in some kind of limbo - on some sort of threshold. Nothing is as it was - that means something new is gestating, waiting to be born. In this space the only dependable is God - always was, only now I know it in a new and profound way. Thanks Emily for giving me this kernel to think about.
I need to hear so much more about this somatic experience practitioner. I had been so (!!) disconnected and out of tune with my body and my physical experience for decades, right up until a new autoimmune diagnosis forced me to start paying attention to what my body was screaming at me. The last five years have found me trying (and failing, and trying again) to reconnect to my physical experiences, and girl it is challenging, difficult work. Would love to hear more about your experiences!
How can one find a Somatic Experiencing practitioner? Wow! After reading The Body Keeps the Score ages ago, I've been more convinced than ever that this is "decision central" - it's where my mind and emotions come together and make "meaning" as I struggle with next steps. There is a reason they say trust your gut, because truth resonates.
You've probably heard the saying, "If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space." It sounds to me like you're right where you're supposed to be.
Emily, I enjoyed your perspective on “being a beginner”. One thing that was laid on my heart is that life is full of different chapters. It’s helped navigate the storms, celebrate the victories, grieve the loses and embrace the challenges. Starting over can be exciting, frustrating or just necessary as a chapter closes. I’ve realized that I am never alone, He is with me and often He gives me partners/ friends to step into the new chapter.
Mentally, this approach has helped to close a chapter and recognize what it was and step into my next beginning.
I've just started somatic experiencing therapy and wow, I don't know my central nervous system at all! Eager to learn and grateful you voice so much of what I think and feel
My daughter grew up hating cheese. About the time she graduated high school I remember standing in front of the pre-prepared food section at Costco, thinking delightedly, "In just a few months I'll be able to get that delicious looking Mac-n-Cheese to bring home for dinner." Then, out of nowhere, I just started to sob. Right there in Costco. I kept saying, "I don't want to be able to bring Mac-n-cheese home, I want my girl!" Grief in transition is a strange beast. Blessings on your journey to empty nesting.
"My comfort zone is a mile away, but when the fog clears, the view from here is mostly spectacular. Just don’t look down." Your capacity to turn a phrase, as they say, whoever "they" are, is what I find spectacular today. I know have words, "My comfort zone is a mile away." I love that so much, Emily. I've been a real-life empty nester for almost 10 + years now. I can hardly believe I'm writing that. My oldest, who just turned 39, lives in Belgium, and my twins, who are 35 years old, live in Missouri and Kansas. In the last three years, I've been given five grandbirds from them. We sold our family business after 36 years, my husband retired, and I retired from my one-on-one coaching and counseling private practice. Oh, did I mention that I am now on Medicare and will be collecting Social Security shortly? With all sincerity, I keep saying Dr. Seuss's words to myself, "How did it get so late so soon?" I feel I blinked and am suddenly the one people say this to, "You look so good for your age." NOOOOOOO! So thank you, once again, for always speaking straight to my soul. It helps. It really, really does.
What a queen you are! All this change and all this life you've lived. Thank you, Janell. We could learn so much from you.
Oh my, Emily, if I only felt like one, right? :) I should have said, "I now have words." Proof of my current state of "my comfort zone is a mile away." Please keep writing your heart and soul down on paper or right here on Substack for all of us, Emily. You are one guru I will not stop listening to. :)
Emily, I believe it was you who once told us that although we want to be experts right away, that it is okay to be an amateur. I have shared that with countless friends facing situations like you are, and have often reminded myself, too. Being a beginner is incredibly uncomfortable in our perfectionist, striving, convenience-and-comfort-seeking culture. But we are all beginning somewhere. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. ♥️😘
Thank you for your honesty Emily! As for me, I've been dipping my toes into what I believe is nervous system work and, it might be a stretch or complete heresy - I don't know, a verse came to mind: Proverbs 4:23 NIV "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." I've playing in my mind to exchange the word heart with nervous system and it seems it fits right with our current understanding of how complex our bodies are.
I'm thinking about the limits of imagination, especially when it encounters fear or exhaustion.
I'm thinking about how the women lead the rescue/reparations journey in Exodus 3.
I'm thinking about leadership and loneliness, the gifts of art, and friendship.
I've also been thinking about how we know the difference between false and real hope.
Among a few other things. 😉
I adore you.
during a years-long season of trauma, upheaval, illness, fear, and grief, my body has quickly become my teacher.
as someone who always tended to look outward for help/direction/affirmation, learning to turn inward instead (and trusting god to meet me there) has been… slow. counterintuitive. awkward. MESSY. (so messy)
some days i would like to forget that class is still in session. some days i would like to throw the curriculum through a window.
the anxiety, the panic, the constant fight/flight/freeze/fawn- they are my least favorite teachers, but they have some of the deepest wisdom to offer.
learning to listen to, trust, and STAY WITH my body (in all her iterations) is some of the hardest work i’ve ever done.
it is also the most rewarding.
i see you over there, epf, and your words here resonate.
thank you for sharing them!
Thank you for re-sharing this prayer here, Emily. Struggling to find the right words right now and realizing that here just aren't any.
I sometimes feel like I am on a perpetual growth edge. I recently had my 80th birthday, a birthday my mother did not get to have. We are on the waiting list for a nearby retirement community - betwixt and between. Richard Rohr talks about liminal space, that place on the threshold, being the only place growth happens. In this country right now we are all in some kind of limbo - on some sort of threshold. Nothing is as it was - that means something new is gestating, waiting to be born. In this space the only dependable is God - always was, only now I know it in a new and profound way. Thanks Emily for giving me this kernel to think about.
I need to hear so much more about this somatic experience practitioner. I had been so (!!) disconnected and out of tune with my body and my physical experience for decades, right up until a new autoimmune diagnosis forced me to start paying attention to what my body was screaming at me. The last five years have found me trying (and failing, and trying again) to reconnect to my physical experiences, and girl it is challenging, difficult work. Would love to hear more about your experiences!
How can one find a Somatic Experiencing practitioner? Wow! After reading The Body Keeps the Score ages ago, I've been more convinced than ever that this is "decision central" - it's where my mind and emotions come together and make "meaning" as I struggle with next steps. There is a reason they say trust your gut, because truth resonates.
All I can think of to say this July day is thank you. Thank you for your vulnerability, honesty and also, for the prayer. 🙏🏼
Emily, your prayers are so beautiful and bring such a balm. I love listening to you pray in the app!
Thank you for resharing this prayer. Might you add it to the Quiet Collection?
Good idea :)
You've probably heard the saying, "If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space." It sounds to me like you're right where you're supposed to be.
Emily, I enjoyed your perspective on “being a beginner”. One thing that was laid on my heart is that life is full of different chapters. It’s helped navigate the storms, celebrate the victories, grieve the loses and embrace the challenges. Starting over can be exciting, frustrating or just necessary as a chapter closes. I’ve realized that I am never alone, He is with me and often He gives me partners/ friends to step into the new chapter.
Mentally, this approach has helped to close a chapter and recognize what it was and step into my next beginning.
Enjoy the journey!
I've just started somatic experiencing therapy and wow, I don't know my central nervous system at all! Eager to learn and grateful you voice so much of what I think and feel