This resonates. Over the past week my imagination has fitted over quitting the job I love, moving to a different state or town, finding a work from home career, ... yep. On two separate cem walks I started out with these musings and at the end of my "fixed point" practice laughing (out loud) with Jesus as I head home. He's patient and present and weathering the waves of emotions with me.
When reality is too much and I dream of running away, I dream of a cabin with a roaring fire, cozy blankets and a lots of books in a small town in Maine. It’s always somewhere close to water, where I can walk anywhere I’d like. (Clearly, I dream of this often.) Jesus is there too, quiet and comforting.
I can testify that the lack of work and life responsibilities feels good for about 2 weeks, then life purpose and what to do with each day becomes a new challenge every bit as weighty as the previous season's challenges.
Jeff Haanen writes, "The common view is looking at reality nostalgically, regretfully, bitterly, or in thrall to the illusion of retirement bliss. The uncommon view is looking at reality as the only context in which you can fulfill your calling." Good words for our souls.
The Apostle Paul felt it, we feel it, even the earth feels it (Romans 8:21-23). So we rest, then press on, leaning on the promise of redemption in this life and the next... :-)
I dreamed about buying that same library too. I think it would make a lovely wedding venue + sacred quiet space in this world where they are hard to find. I often wonder if my dreaming is escapism or that part deep inside that longs for a future reality. Either way, you are not alone.
As a Believer….I think we think these thoughts because it’s in anticipation of what’s to come in eternity….So it’s good practice and a healthy reminder. Thanks for reminding us Mrs. Freeman…:)
Yes I have thoughts of leaving it all behind. But I think my happiness would be short lived. We need each other. I have shared with my husband I sometimes want time away. He was not surprised. I tend to like my own company. He knows this.
Keep going Emily. I am confident you will come out the other end of the tunnel intact.
I also think of that saying: everyone is going through something you know nothing about. It’s very true , for me and everyone else. If we don’t admit that we are lying to ourselves. Be kind to yourself Emily.
Wow!!! You took the words right out of my heart. Though I’ve been draining more than dreaming. Thank you for creating a space for me to dream- to refocus - to ask for the fire, cozy blanket, the hug —- and to look right into Jesus’ face and share my present reality. I am human and I’m looking for the shortcut, but I long for His promised presence in this moment.
First, thank you for giving voice to all these feelings. I get that you are not talking about a single event or thing, but this has been on my mind… Since Helene hit your part of the world I have felt the overwhelm/exhaustion from 800 miles away. While hurricanes are common on the gulf coast it is not common for a storm to still be raging at a cat 3 at 100 miles inland with multiple tornadoes. Laura in 2020 (on top of all the other drama) was followed by Delta… There is still debris and empty slabs. It isn’t the exact same scenario, but the range of emotions are mirrored… including a kind rest-less-ness. We know it takes a long, long time to recover. We flat-landers continue to contribute and pray for those in the mountains.
I have been daydreaming for a while about escaping on my own, in many of the scenarios you write about, Emily. A solo trip to Europe, leaving husband, teenage kids, responsibilities, job. A cabin of my own to retreat to. At the same time I long for community and connection, a hug, an assurance that all will be ok. Maybe that is what this space here is about- to remind one another of our common humanity, our shared hopes, our vulnerable selves.
Even though I consider myself a daydreamer, I don't think I escape so frequently in my mind to the beautiful scenarios you wrote about. My tendency is to shut down to the world around me, to think everything is so heavy and difficult that I cannot do anything. That's what I've loved doing "The Next Right Thing" as a simple practice to just focus on something so small that may seem insignificant (Because of that, I'm forever thankful to you, Emily). Currently, my tiny ritual is to listen to a song (Aprovecha by Santiago Benavides, in Spanish) that points me to the simple, small little things that make our lives worth living. That song has become a beautiful reminder of something else you've talked about: that I can focus on what I can do, instead of fixating on what I cannot do. 🧡 Thanks for showing up, even when you feel like quitting.
After a busy week last week and a few other things on my mind, I spent a bit of time in The Void this week. Do not recommend 😆 So I went back to one of my favourite books - and the cathedral close and small bookshop in Torminster are far preferable. (A City of Bells, Elizabeth Goudge).
I love Elizabeth Goudge’s books. They sort of represent an escape and a comfort in hard times, and a reminder of what is real and true and good. Thank you for mentioning this- I think I will reread one of her books, a perfect antidote for the swirl of emotions right now.
This resonates. Over the past week my imagination has fitted over quitting the job I love, moving to a different state or town, finding a work from home career, ... yep. On two separate cem walks I started out with these musings and at the end of my "fixed point" practice laughing (out loud) with Jesus as I head home. He's patient and present and weathering the waves of emotions with me.
When reality is too much and I dream of running away, I dream of a cabin with a roaring fire, cozy blankets and a lots of books in a small town in Maine. It’s always somewhere close to water, where I can walk anywhere I’d like. (Clearly, I dream of this often.) Jesus is there too, quiet and comforting.
I "run away, run away" (thank you Monty Python) ALL THE TIME in my mind, and also physically, every once in a while.
This is what it means to be a human person. Oh so true! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
I can testify that the lack of work and life responsibilities feels good for about 2 weeks, then life purpose and what to do with each day becomes a new challenge every bit as weighty as the previous season's challenges.
Jeff Haanen writes, "The common view is looking at reality nostalgically, regretfully, bitterly, or in thrall to the illusion of retirement bliss. The uncommon view is looking at reality as the only context in which you can fulfill your calling." Good words for our souls.
The Apostle Paul felt it, we feel it, even the earth feels it (Romans 8:21-23). So we rest, then press on, leaning on the promise of redemption in this life and the next... :-)
I dreamed about buying that same library too. I think it would make a lovely wedding venue + sacred quiet space in this world where they are hard to find. I often wonder if my dreaming is escapism or that part deep inside that longs for a future reality. Either way, you are not alone.
As a Believer….I think we think these thoughts because it’s in anticipation of what’s to come in eternity….So it’s good practice and a healthy reminder. Thanks for reminding us Mrs. Freeman…:)
Yes I have thoughts of leaving it all behind. But I think my happiness would be short lived. We need each other. I have shared with my husband I sometimes want time away. He was not surprised. I tend to like my own company. He knows this.
Keep going Emily. I am confident you will come out the other end of the tunnel intact.
I also think of that saying: everyone is going through something you know nothing about. It’s very true , for me and everyone else. If we don’t admit that we are lying to ourselves. Be kind to yourself Emily.
Thanks - you have been a touchstone for me over these past couple of weeks.
Wow!!! You took the words right out of my heart. Though I’ve been draining more than dreaming. Thank you for creating a space for me to dream- to refocus - to ask for the fire, cozy blanket, the hug —- and to look right into Jesus’ face and share my present reality. I am human and I’m looking for the shortcut, but I long for His promised presence in this moment.
This is beautiful. You are writing what many of us are feeling. We are not alone and that is so reassuring, so thank you for this.
First, thank you for giving voice to all these feelings. I get that you are not talking about a single event or thing, but this has been on my mind… Since Helene hit your part of the world I have felt the overwhelm/exhaustion from 800 miles away. While hurricanes are common on the gulf coast it is not common for a storm to still be raging at a cat 3 at 100 miles inland with multiple tornadoes. Laura in 2020 (on top of all the other drama) was followed by Delta… There is still debris and empty slabs. It isn’t the exact same scenario, but the range of emotions are mirrored… including a kind rest-less-ness. We know it takes a long, long time to recover. We flat-landers continue to contribute and pray for those in the mountains.
I have been daydreaming for a while about escaping on my own, in many of the scenarios you write about, Emily. A solo trip to Europe, leaving husband, teenage kids, responsibilities, job. A cabin of my own to retreat to. At the same time I long for community and connection, a hug, an assurance that all will be ok. Maybe that is what this space here is about- to remind one another of our common humanity, our shared hopes, our vulnerable selves.
Even though I consider myself a daydreamer, I don't think I escape so frequently in my mind to the beautiful scenarios you wrote about. My tendency is to shut down to the world around me, to think everything is so heavy and difficult that I cannot do anything. That's what I've loved doing "The Next Right Thing" as a simple practice to just focus on something so small that may seem insignificant (Because of that, I'm forever thankful to you, Emily). Currently, my tiny ritual is to listen to a song (Aprovecha by Santiago Benavides, in Spanish) that points me to the simple, small little things that make our lives worth living. That song has become a beautiful reminder of something else you've talked about: that I can focus on what I can do, instead of fixating on what I cannot do. 🧡 Thanks for showing up, even when you feel like quitting.
After a busy week last week and a few other things on my mind, I spent a bit of time in The Void this week. Do not recommend 😆 So I went back to one of my favourite books - and the cathedral close and small bookshop in Torminster are far preferable. (A City of Bells, Elizabeth Goudge).
I love Elizabeth Goudge’s books. They sort of represent an escape and a comfort in hard times, and a reminder of what is real and true and good. Thank you for mentioning this- I think I will reread one of her books, a perfect antidote for the swirl of emotions right now.
Yes! Her books are grounding and fantastic all at the same time. There is a book club here on substack ☺️
https://substack.com/@elizabethgoudgebookclub?r=f4wnk&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile
That’s nice to know!
This is beautiful.