One Year Later: The YAYS and NAYS of a Book Launch

Happy Book Birthday to How to Walk into a Room!

This week we’re celebrating the one year anniversary of the release of How to Walk into a Room! To mark the moment I’ll share my list of celebrations (we’re all making celebration lists right?! Y’all things are too dire in the world not to find things to celebrate.) But I’ll also share some things I wish had been different because I am allergic to not acknowledging the full story of how things are.

In borrowed shoes (my sisters!) a few weeks before the book released.

But first! Did you know we have THREE book resources completely FREE for you?

1. A discussion guide that you can download directly right here.

2. A FREE Collection of audio blessings in The Quiet Collection app. Just scan the QR code in the back pages of your hard copy of the book and then follow the directions to redeem Blessings for Hellos and Goodbyes.

3. A FREE workbook to accompany the Blessings Collection. (The link to download the workbook is inside the app as well.)

After traditionally publishing six books, I’m beginning to understand that I can’t really know what a book truly is until about a year after release. That means this is the week I'm finally able to see the whole story of this book and here are some of the things rising to the surface about what was wonderful and what was difficult.

The most interesting part will always be what went wrong or didn’t live up to your expectations, right? Let’s begin there so we can end on the good stuff!

The Nays: What I Wish Had Been Different

1. The best laid plans: This was going to be the book where I got some bylines under my belt. I wanted to craft my first op-ed even though I wasn’t exactly sure what that was. I will be a think-piece writer! She said. I will be literary! She imagined. Incase you haven’t gathered, I am still not a think-piece op-ed writer. Next time!

2. The tiny existential crisis about publicity: Not unique to this book launch but still worth mentioning is that the day after the book released, I had the tiniest-but-not-so-tiny moment of panic that we didn’t, in fact, do enough to promote the book. The problem with being a person living in a hustle culture is that there is always more you could do and no amount of good work ever really feels like enough.

3. The titling process: From day one, the title was tricky. It was always going to be between How to Walk into a Room or How to Walk Out of a Room. If you've read it, then you know that ⅔ of the book is about walking out. But the premise is not just to offer a framework for leaving (though the book does this quite well, I think) but to also normalize the healthy, human rhythm of leaving rooms and finding new ones. How to Walk Out of a Room is probably more accurate as to what the book is for or about. But How to Walk into a Room is more hopeful. I think we made the right call, in the end, but there were moments this year when I wondered if the reader would have been better served with the walking out title.

4. The timing: This book launch overlapped with some really difficult family things happening behind the scenes which greatly impacted my ability to be fully present and creative in the moment. This is not something I could have prevented and of course isn’t necessarily related to the book, but every single memory, photo, and post from the days of this book launch also marks something hard happening behind the scenes.

5. The internet: Launching a book in 2024 was a different experience than launching in 2019 (which is when my last book, The Next Right Thing released). Instagram, for example, is a less connected place now than it was then. I am so grateful to the many readers and friends who shared this book in their online spaces, but as a whole I think we’re all doing this less now (I include myself in this). We’re tired of feeling sold to in general, we question what people really love vs. what they’re doing as a favor, and the pressure is on the author to find different ways to get the word out. Publishing is a difficult business.

The Yays: My Celebrations List for How to Walk into a Room

1. Writing this book felt like a miracle, in a way. It wanted to be written within a specific window of time, a window I nearly missed. Had I waited six more months, I’m not sure I would have been able to tell the stories in quite the same way. The fact that it was written at all is celebration all its own.

2. Sharing our story in the book about when one of our kids came out has opened the door for so many beautiful (sometimes heartbreaking) and needed conversations, including in the comment section of this post. It’s also lost me some followers and nothing has ever been more worth the snub.

3. Talking with Hoda Kotb for five whole minutes on The Today Show about my very book. And she read it! And then she promptly quit her job and walked out of Studio 1A by the end of the year. Oops. I’M SO SORRY EVERYONE.

4. Traveling to Los Angeles with my twins to be on Gen Z YouTuber, Emma Chamberlain’s podcast Anything Goes and to spend the whole day with fellow podcaster, author, and friend, Laura Tremaine.

5. Toasting with champagne and cake with our friends in our kitchen, a last-minute idea of John’s that I didn’t think I needed until he said we were doing it and it was one of my favorite events of launch season.

6. Meeting readers and listeners in actual person.

7. Hitting The New York Times Bestseller List (and USA Today, Publisher’s Weekly, and IndieBound). This is because of you, full stop.

8. Seeing the book in airports nationwide.

9. Partnering with one of our local Independent bookstores for signed copies and a fun in-person event. (Thank you, Bookmarks!)

10. Writing a book my kids are proud of.

The easiest book dedication I’ve written to date.

I’m a firm believer that books find us when we need them and not a minute sooner. If the concepts of this book didn’t resonate last year, maybe they will now. As a refresher, here’s what we’ll cover:

• Specific questions to ask yourself (and your people) as you discern if it’s time to move on

• Help for naming red (and yellow) flags

• Practices for letting go (and holding on, if needed)

• How to navigate endings when there is no closure

• How to know the difference between true peace and discomfort avoidance

Bookshop // Amazon US // Barnes & Noble // Books-A-Million

Mostly I want to say thank you for reading, purchasing, listening to, sharing, and writing reviews about this book. Your emails, letters, and personal messages are alway timely and genuinely received.

So happy book birthday to How to Walk into a Room. Thanks for celebrating with me and, as always, I’m glad you’re here.

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