Five Steps to Mark an Ending (even when it seems like it's not a big deal)
The Decision Fatigue Chronicles Vol. 6
We’re always ending, middling, and beginning. Sometimes we have the benefit of marking our endings, typically when they are planned for or communal. But what about the endings that sneak by unnoticed, uncelebrated, or unmarked? What about that ones that feel like they shouldn’t matter but they secretly do matter?
With all the talk (and writing and interviewing and more writing) I’ve done about endings over the past few months, perhaps you’ve become aware of some unrecognized endings in your own life. Maybe you even know they need marking, but you feel stuck or overwhelmed with how to do that exactly.
If you’re experiencing some decision fatigue around how to mark an ending, this post is for you.
It starts with naming. Of course it does.
“Language show us that naming an experience doesn’t give the experience more power, it gives us the power of understanding and meaning.”
Brene´Brown, Atlas of the Heart
Step 1: Name the Ending
The graduations, retirements, and big family moves tend to have markers built in. But there are moments passing by all the time that go unmarked or unnoticed.
Spend a few minutes reflecting on your life for the past six months. Has something stopped or ended that you thought would continue? Has your routine changed as a result of an ending? Are there small endings within a larger ending that you have overlooked (Ex: Moving to a new town represents a huge ending and beginning that you may have marked in some way. But within that are many secondary losses like saying goodbye to your hairdresser, your favorite grocery store, your familiar weekly commute.)
Here are some other kinds of endings you may need to mark that may seem like they shouldn’t matter but actual do.
A friendship that has faded away
Finishing a work project
The end of a travel season
Reaching a personal goal
A period of sobriety
Losing a tree in a storm
The closing of a beloved local establishment (restaurant, coffee shop, flower shop)
The last day of school in a grade that doesn’t come with a graduation (ex: 2nd or 10th grade, etc)
If you’re now realizing more has ended that needs marking then you realized, read on.